dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i need some magic done to my vagina
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
