It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
