I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
