I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
