So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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