my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
