Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
