so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
All the doctor said was why
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
