It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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