what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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