He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
