I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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