I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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