Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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