Where did you get a picture of my penis
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
