Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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