Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
