The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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