if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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