nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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