Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We named our party play list daddy issues
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
