ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
