I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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