i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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