hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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