I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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