so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
