.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
