Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think your dad took our porno
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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