"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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