Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
