i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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