I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
