there was a trapeze. enough said
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
