She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
