when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize