I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
