Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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