OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize