a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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