pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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