I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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