I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
