do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
vagina is talking i cant
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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