Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize