I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
