As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
