how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
