Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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