we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
