I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
