Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
