hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
