are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
