I hope mine doesn't look like that
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
