would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize