I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she looked like the before picture.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
