Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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