Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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